im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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