I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
