I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Farmville is her only friend.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
