Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
