He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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