well I can't set my house on fire every night
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
