Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
sarcasm needs its own font
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We have started to decorate penises.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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