Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
