I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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