did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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