This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize