Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
