I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
