This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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