hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
