Someone shit on the floor
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
