For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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