Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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