Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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