It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
