He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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