Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
