Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
