my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
