Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
