you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize