I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
