I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
