I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
how drunk are you?
Several
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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