so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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