I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
