Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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