i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
