If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
