Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
