Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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