I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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