On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
