I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
