Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
