Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
