i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
