Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
