so let's talk penis.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You were trust falling into bushes
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
