You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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