Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I was not drunk enough for that final.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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