I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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