96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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