there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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