No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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