dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
