How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
