I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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