covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
