it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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