your room smells of hookers.
And success
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
