I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
