I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
